Yesterday, President Bush appeared on Meet The Press, where he answered host Tim Russert's questions about, among other things, his accusation that the CIA had provided his administration with "flawed" intelligence regarding weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, the current turmoil in Iraq, charges that he had inflated claims about the threat posed by Iraq, and supposed gaps in his military service record. Here is a partial transcript of the proceedings:
Russert: You've suggested that it's necessary to review the CIA's intelligence gathering, in the global fight against terror.
President Bush: Well now first Tim, let me tell you something about the globe: It's round. Actually, if you want to get technical, it's spherical. And it's covered almost two-thirds in water. Which makes looking for terrorists hard, because they could be under that water. We don't know. It's hard finding things under water. You ever, Tim, you ever drop your keys in a lake, while you're out fishing? Well, then, you know, good luck ever finding them. And it's the same with the terrorists: good luck ever finding them, if they're under all that water. That's why the CIA is important. Because they have SCUBA gear, and the other tools necessary to find these underwater terrorists.
Russert: But, again, why do you think it necessary to evaluate the CIA's intelligence gathering capacity, in the fight you're leading against terror?
President Bush: Well now Tim, let me tell you something about terror. Terrorists, they aren't like you or me. They're dangerous people. They live for danger. Where someone like you, or me, we might own a dog, a terrorist would own, um, one of those dinosaurs, from Jurassic Park. You know, the ones who were always killing everyone.
Russert: The T Rex?
President Bush: No, the, the smaller ones, with the claws. The raptors, I think it was. I'll have to get that out and watch it later. Otherwise this'll be bugging me the rest of the day.
Russert: I see, sir. But..
President Bush: And another thing Tim, is, oh... look! Look behind you!
Russert: What! What!
President Bush: Well, it's nothing, but the point is, a terrorist could have been there. That's why we have to fight this war.
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Russert: Now, there are some who have blamed this administration for the current turmoil in Iraq
President Bush: You know Tim, I seem to recall there was a bit of turmoil in our own country's history, as we became a democracy. Because, if I remember correctly, after the French and Indian War we were under the rule of the King of France, Napoleon, and to a lesser extent the King of the Indians, as well. I can't remember his name, though. Crazy Bull, wasn't it? But then the British came along, with their coalition, and they set us free. And of course afterward, there were conflicts, and many people in Britain, they said, just like today, they said bring the troops home. But the British occupying force, they stuck with it, until we set aside our differences, and formed the free system of government we have today.
Russert: Actually, sir, the United States fought against the British in the Revolutionary War.
President Bush: You're thinking of the Civil War there, Tim.
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Russert: Some of your critics have charged you with inflating claims about Iraq's weapons programs. They like to say you "sexed them up."
President Bush: You know, that expression. I just have to laugh, because it reminds me, we used to play that one song, "I Want to Sex You Up," at Rangers games back in what was it, 1991? Who did that, anyways?
Russert: Color Me Badd
President Bush: Whatever happened to them? It would be great if VH1 would do a Behind the Music about them.
Russert: But as to the charge?
President Bush: [laughs] Well, I was doing some "sexing up" before the war, but it didn't involve claims about weapons programs, if you know what I mean.
Russert: I think so, sir.
President Bush: And, uh, just in case anyone gets the wrong idea, this "sexing up," it was only with my wife, the First Lady.
Russert: Yes, of course.
President Bush: And it wasn't anything weird, either. Because you know , that term, "sexing up," it makes it sound like there was something unusual, something outside the norm that was going on.
Russert: Of course not, sir.
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Russert: Some have asked, why is it that this intelligence commission that you've set up won't release its results until 2005?
President Bush: Well, Tim, this is something that requires time. Because, let me tell you, what we have, we have this paradox. Because, last spring, my administration, we criticized the CIA, because we felt they were understating the extent of the weapons programs in Iraq. But now, as it turns out, they - the intelligence community - were actually overstating these programs. So this is about trying to figure out how that happened.
Russert: But, is that really the fault of the CIA? Isn't that the fault of your admin-
President Bush: No, because this isn't about me. This is about future presidents. They deserve to know that the intelligence they receive is accurate. For example, President Thompson, in 2027. He'll need to know about the weather machine the Malaysians are developing, if he's to stop them from unleashing the typhoon that destroys Hawaii. Or President Glaxxon, in 2189. She'll need to know the size of the Krylingian Fleet, before it enters Earth orbit, if she's to have enough time to ask the Rindar Federation to come to our aid.
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Russert: Finally, questions have come up, regarding your military service.
President Bush: Well, I stand behind my record. There are some things there that I'm not proud of. But war, it does things to you. It's kill or be killed, out on the battlefield.
Russert: Actually, it's the fact that it seems there's been some difficulty, in locating your records.
President Bush: How's that my fault? They just need to look harder. How hard is it to call the Army and ask?
Russert: I thought you served in the National Guard?
President Bush: Oh, Army, National Guard, it's all the same thing, isn't it? We were all fighting for the same cause: to keep America free. And, I have to say, the whole time I was stationed there in Texas, I never saw a single V.C., so I think we were doing a pretty good job.
Russert: Thank you, sir.